Resources
Check out these additional resources to help you on your healing journey.
From Lover to Beloved Workbook
This FREE downloadable PDF workbook provides questions and prompts related to each chapter of From Lover to Beloved to help you dive deeper. It is designed to be used in conjunction with your own notebook/journal to allow you the freedom to write as much as you need in your times of reflection with the Lord!
28 Days - Who I Am in Christ
Do you know who God says you are? Fill your heart and mind with God’s truth as to who you truly are in Christ! Combat the accusations of the enemy and the lies of this world by fixing your eyes on what your Creator says about you. This resource is a FREE PDF download designed as art cards for your convenience.
Seven Days to F.E.E.L.
Many of us grew up in households that didn’t do a great job of identifying feelings or meeting all of our emotional needs. Additionally, our past experiences greatly impact the deep-down beliefs we hold about ourselves, the world around us, and God. The Seven Days to F.E.E.L. PDF workbook provides examples, tools, and exercises critical for the path to healing. It covers:
- Feelings (including a simplified and in-depth version of feelings wheels to expand your feelings vocabulary)
- Emotional Needs (Ten emotional needs God created us with and exploration of how those needs were or were not met as a child)
- Experiences impact core beliefs which ultimately influence behavior (Review of Core Belief Cycle with examples as well as a walk-through of ABC Model, a framework that assumes your beliefs about a specific event affect how you react to that event).
- Lies we believe (identifying the lies you believe and replacing them with God’s truth; includes the 28 Days of Who I Am in Christ Biblical Affirmation Cards).
Emotional Needs
Have you ever felt like you were too much? Or perhaps too emotional? Here’s the deal. God created us with emotional needs and He does not make mistakes. This one-page PDF download highlights ten emotional needs we ALL have and biblical references for each need.
Hope in God
Whether you feel hopeless because of your own sin, the impact of other people’s sin, or just plain crappy life circumstances, it is critical to not give up on hope in God and His promises. This one-page PDF download highlights ten reasons we can hope in the Lord and verses to reflect upon.
Promises of God
God’s Word to us is full of His promises to us! Download this one-page PDF with Ten Promises of God to reflect upon and cling to!
Other Books to Read
Please note that the links below are affiliate links. There is no additional cost to you, but I may earn a small commission from your purchase that helps support this ministry. Thank you!
How We Love
Written by Christian counselors, How We Love is hands down one of the most helpful books I read in the aftermath of my affair. It is also the #1 book I recommend to couples at any phase of their relationship as it dives deep into how different love/connection styles interact with one another and why. This is a definite must-read in my opinion. Here is a brief description of how this book will help in your healing journey!
“Learn your Love Style to understand how your childhood experiences inform what you expect from relationships, how you receive and express love, and how you respond to others in stressful interactions. Knowing your Love Style gives you a starting point from which you can grow to become a Secure Connector.”
My Utmost for His Highest
Written by Oswald Chambers, this collection of devotions seemed to meet me wherever I was at on any given day during my healing journey. Thought-provoking and soul-piercing, this book is a great addition to your time in the Word! Here is a quick quote from this book that has stood out a lot to me:
“If the Spirit of God has ever given you a vision of what you are apart from the grace of God, then you know that in reality there is no criminal half as bad as yourself could be without His grace. My ‘grace’ has been opened by God and ‘I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells’ (Romans, 7:18). God’s Spirit continually reveals to His children what human nature is like apart from grace.”
Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken
Written by a wife whose ministry husband committed adultery that resulted in a pregnancy, Cindy speaks openly and honestly about the myriad of emotions and fears faced in the aftermath of her husband’s affair. With his repentant heart and her hard work towards forgiveness, God redeemed their marriage and healed their family. She has some great nuggets of wisdom, including this quote:
“When my curiosity got the best of me and I wanted to ask Chris something, I first asked myself two questions: Why do I need to know this? And will this help me heal? More times than not, asking the question would only hurt me more, which would not bring healing. Other times, the point of my question was just to find out when I’d been fooled, thus fueling a pride issue I was battling.
Ultimately, we must stop asking questions of our spouses because we trust our heavenly Father to make all things new again. Regardless of whether your marriage has survived, you must free yourself from the false need to gain more information because it will not help your journey to freedom.”
Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity
Written by a husband and wife whose world was turned upside down after the husband’s infidelity, this book shares their experience through both of their lenses. Here is the description of their book:
Ten years ago, Gary and Mona Shriver experienced the devastation caused by adultery, and in the course of trying to save themselves, they wrote this book. Raw, transparently honest, the Shrivers’ story alone is an inspiration, offering hope and practical strategies for healing. Now this updated and revised edition adds other real-life stories of betrayal and forgiveness, and new information defining adultery, including the destruction of emotional affairs. Some doubt if a marriage can truly heal after the ravages of infidelity. Unfaithful proves you can. It’s not easy . . . but it can be done. Is it worth it? Yes. And you hold the first step–and hope–in your hand.
Wild at Heart - Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul
I read this book in the aftermath of my affair to gain insight into my husband’s heart, but it also spoke to me regarding healing past wounds. This could be a good read for the husband and/or wife :). Here is a quote from this book that really helped me on my healing journey:
“A wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you’ve embraced is a wound that cannot heal. A wound you think you deserved is a wound that cannot heal.”
Captivating - Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul
A great read for the husband and/or wife to gain greater insight into a woman’s heart and soul. Here is one of my favorite quotes from this book that speaks to the cycle of sin:
“When we camp our hearts in self-doubt, condemning thoughts, or even shame because those emotions have become familiar and comfortable, we are faithlessly indulging rather than allowing our deep ache to draw us to God. Unfortunately, our indulgences make us feel better…for a while. They seem to “work”; but really only increase our need to indulge again. This is the nightmare of addiction. But it goes beyond “drugs.” We give our hearts to all sorts of other “lovers” that demand our attention, demand we indulge again. We taste something that we think is good, our longings cease to ache, for a minute, but later we find ourselves empty once more, needing to be filled again and again.”